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I want to tell you – on the turning away
background music
Image by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³
I want to tell you,

Today that there are still words in my mouth,
that there´s air still in my lungs and yours,
because maybe tomorrow won´t be the same,
today that I´ve got you close enough
to let my feelings reach you, no matter how,
that it´s not late yet, that is here and now… always.

I want to tell you how much you mean to me, how much do I care.
That so many times I wanted to hold you, kiss you, tell you how much I love you and I couldn´t…
that I´ve felt so sad in our distances, in my miseries, when I caused you pain, or went wrong so many times…
Even walking the path of love and good will.
I want to tell you that I´ve cried for you, when I saw you cry…
when others hurt you, or have been unfair with you,
when my hands brought pain and suffering onto you.

I want to tell you how much do I pity that life sometimes put us in deserts or cages,
filled with darkness, ghosts and bitter memories.
That I extremely fear violence,
that the fight kills me without even beginning,
that hardness breaks me, burns me,
that I don´t understand so many things about this world we are part of…

I want to tell you that to love you don´t have to be a hero,
that it is not a moment, or a place where to go… it is a path.
That there is no greater pleasure than knowing you are an instrument of love,
feeling that somebody is fine and that you have to do with that,
for your presence, your words, your deeds,
That to let be, comprehend and to foster freedom is the most loving of all our actions,
That Life pays off with the same currency,
That when you give love, you get it back with no conditions,
That even in the deepest sadness and loneliness there is Hope…
While you feel present in your heart the love you´ve got to give.

I want to tell you that I am only for you and through you,
that I can´t find a reason to live other than to bring light, love and hope…
That even when I hit the hardest wall,
or I stumble with the largest stone,
or the load in my shoulder would be about to make me collapse,
I still think that there is something left I can do, something to give,
That this cannot be my final moment.
That I wish you could feel likewise,
so in the worst storm you don´t abandon to helplessness,
neither give up, and wait patiently for the sun to come.

I want to tell you that you are in my heart,
that I can´t recover from my childish dreams,
that I still imagine that we can be love,
despite distances, pain, sadness, our mistakes…
that I imagine us building a better place,
that we can be more those ones treading this path,
That I won´t renounce to my fantasy.

That I know how much you need me, simply because:
I know how much do I need you.
And while things are this way there is nothing lost.

Everything is to be done.

Gisela (2002)
Original spanish version

Background Music I wrote this Poem with:
"On the turning away" .mp3
Song lyrics
by Pink Floyd in "A momentary Lapse of Reason"
Right click link, "save as" option to download song, 8MB.

Bits + Pieces / 2012 / SML Music
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Image by See-ming Lee 李思明 SML
Album cover for Bits and Pieces.

About the music

This piece draws concept from Steve Reich’s idea of writing something which sounds repetitive but in fact were never repeated throughout the entire composition. The piece were literally pieced together in Ableton Live, but the notes – the bits – were input from the iPad, using various MIDI controller apps I have downloaded from the App Store.

Because of its relatively repetitive sounding nature, I do not intend the audience to be sitting still – you are encouraged to use it as background while multi-tasking. In fact, if you do indeed feel that it is repetitive, I would have accomplished what I set out to do.

This is a pre-mastering rough and is part of the Bits + Pieces album.

Serial 2012.IP.DOTS.R12…

Mixer with the dancers at the background
background music
Image by Arkadiusz Benedykt
Mixer with the dancers at the background